52 Films by Women Vol 10. 18. YOU, ME & TUSCANY (Director: Kat Coiro)

 

Pictured: 'I never promised you a vegetable garden.' Anna (Halle Bailey) and Michael (Regé-Jean Page) in a scene from the Italian-set romantic comedy, 'You, Me & Tuscany', written by Ryan Engle and Kristen Engle and directed by Kat Coiro. Still courtesy of Universal Pictures. 

The romantic comedy You, Me & Tuscany gets one thing absolutely right. If you are a woman of colour and want romantic happiness, you won’t find it in Donald Trump’s America. Director Kat Coiro’s protagonist, New York-based apartment sitter Anna (Halle Bailey) meets handsome Italian realty guy Matteo (Lorenzo De Moor) in a bar and is inspired to make good an unused airline ticket to fly to Tuscany, where she hoped she’d take her now deceased mother. Arriving at a village where every available hotel room is taken, she decides to travel to Matteo’s vacant villa and go full Goldilocks. She doesn’t expect to be woken by the sound of Giuseppe (Emanuele Pacca), the singing gardener and the appearance of Matteo’s mother (Isabella Ferrari) and grandmother (Stefania Casini) performing cleaning duties. Hiding on the balcony, then attempting to climb down a drain pipe, she is noticed when the pipe separates from the wall. The Carabinieri are called, but the women notice an engagement ring on Anna’s finger, one that used to belong to Matteo’s Nonna (grandmother). Anna doesn’t disabuse them of the notion that she is Matteo’s fiancée. The family invites her to visit them at their villa.  But why would Anna come to Italy without Matteo, asks no one in the movie either.

The cool voice of scepticism is non-Italian Michael (Regé-Jean Page), who runs the local vineyard.  He first meets Anna when he collects his regular delivery from a sandwich shop, taking the food from Anna’s grasp. In the sparring match that follows, he gifts it to her before driving off. Anna expects never to see him again - except we know how that turns out. Anna belatedly discovers that Michael, who has an English father, was adopted by Matteo’s parents. Matteo is in the family’s bad books after leaving for America instead of taking over his father’s restaurant. Anna discovers Matteo’s relationship to Michael after failing to get her return ticket changed, the cost of which is $2,000. She has to survive for five days in Matteo’s villa under the scrutiny of her family – and Michael - before she can leave.

At the start of the film, when we see Anna get out of bed in a fancy apartment, select an expensive outfit and take the dog for a walk, smelling flowers that she does not buy, we’re not sure that we are going to like her. Then the New Yorker who owns the apartment (Nia Vardalos) discovers Anna wearing her outfit and her underwear. We wonder whether the woman should be flattered that Anna, several decades her junior, can fit into her lingerie. Nevertheless, Anna is houseless. Desperate, she visits her pregnant best friend, Claire (Aziza Scott), whose main function is sassy comic relief. Her answerphone tells callers, ‘you think I’m going to listen to your dumbass message? Send me a text.’ Claire works as a concierge at a swanky hotel where Anna, with less than $600 to her name, orders a hamburger and asks the barman to charge her phone. Having been noticed by Matteo, Anna spends the night in his room – chat line, ‘have you ever stayed in a swanky hotel? Would you like to?’ Fortunately for Anna, he falls asleep while she is in his hotel bathroom. Impressed by the photographs he showed her in the hotel lounge, she uses his face to access his phone and airdrops pictures of the villa and them together. Lest we consider her unscrupulous, Anna doesn’t use them straight away.

Francesca (Stella Pecollo), a woman who works at the family restaurant and is having an affair with the plumber, Luigi, a less-than-Super Mario Bros reference, provides additional comic relief, along with a taxi driver who drives a tiny Fiat, who undercuts another taxi driver by 170 Euro and thinks that everything that Anna does is romantic. ‘I’m invested,’ he says at one point, showing her the village square at no extra charge. The taxi driver becomes the film’s deux es machina (in a Fiat). Anna can call him at any time, even when he has a passenger.

The destination of the story is signposted early. Anna attended culinary school. Matteo’s father needs help with his restaurant. Anna has no home to get back to. Of course, we know where she’ll end up. Husband and wife writing team Ryan Engle and Kristen Engle plot the film with shameless fidelity to convention, ensuring that the film showcases the beauty of the landscape, and highlights ethnic charm - a barrel race. Other ingredients include a kitchen emergency, Matteo’s old flame, Isabella (Desirée Pöpper) who of course rings her ex, and a drunken wine tasting scene between Michael and Anna.

Pictured: 'To romantic comedy conventions.' Michael (Regé-Jean Page) and uninvited house guest Anna (Halle Bailey) share a toast in the Italian-set comedy, 'You, Me and Tuscany', written by Ryan Engle and Kristen Engle and directed by Kat Coiro. Still courtesy of Universal Pictures

The film heavily relies on a convention that is hard to believe in the 21^st Century. Charismatic local business owner Michael has had no success in love and is currently single. An attractive single man over twenty-five with his own vineyard has to be a coercive controller, otherwise what the heck? The film demands that we suspend disbelief, even when Matteo returns and is happy to accept Anna as his fiancée. ‘Finally, my family is happy for me,’ he declares. Ever the sceptic, Michael regards Matteo with suspicion. Their performance at the barrel racing competition is described as humiliating.

Matteo’s father, Vincenzo (Paolo Sassanelli) is one of those superficially severe Italian fathers who is pleased that his son is settling down. He doesn’t become the obstacle to the film’s denouement. The film features two scenes in which American tourists stop by Michael’s vineyard to see him with Anna, firstly using his shirt to prevent her hair ends from getting wet, secondly at the film’s climax. This is an excuse for a reference to Under The Tuscan Sun. The film ends with outtakes of improvised dialogue.

At regular intervals, Anna reminds us that she can smell particular ingredients in food or wine, She naturally proves herself in the kitchen. Inevitably, she is forced to confess, which leads to an awkward scene at a bus stop. ‘Which of us hasn’t lied?’ one of the women asked. You think to yourself, one of these women probably lied to save an Allied soldier from being arrested during World War Two. Anna’s deception is a little different.

Anna declares one of her ambitions as being to eat a freshly picked grape from a vineyard, which says something about the modest goals of women in meet-cute romances. You, Me & Tuscany doesn’t ask much of its audience. It doesn’t give much either. Sun-drenched locations, attractive stars and the occasional smile.

Reviewed at Cineworld Dover (Screen One), Southern England, Thursday 16 April 2026, 15:20 screening