52 Films by Women Vol 10. 32. L’ATTACHEMENT (The Ties That Bind Us) (Director: Carine Tardieu)
French director
Carine Tardieu’s film, L’Attachement (clunky English title The Ties That Bind Us) is exceptional. In it, the characters spend
two years of their time, and 106 minutes of ours, doing the right thing whilst processing
or responding to considerable emotional pain. Adapted from Alice Ferney’s 2020 novel,
L’Intimité, by Tardieu working with co-writers Raphaële
Moussafir, Agnès Feuvre and scenario consultant Agnès de Sacy, it stars Valeria Bruni Tedeschi – always a good reason to watch a movie – as Sandra, an
unmarried woman in her fifties who runs a feminist bookshop who is called upon
at short notice to look after the six-year-old child of her neighbours after
the pregnant mother’s waters break. The boy, Elliott (César Botti, non-precocious
and direct as the role demands) is not aware that he will never see his mother,
Cécile (Mélissa Barbaud) again as she dies (off-screen) shortly after child
birth, amniotic fluid from her womb poisoning her bloodstream in a freak
accident. When a devastated Alex (Pio Marmaï) comes to collect Elliott, several
hours after the birth of his baby daughter, Lucille, and having conveyed the
news about his wife to Sandra, the older woman tells him to let the child sleep.
‘Let him have a mother for one more night.’
On screen, Bruni Tedeschi
and Marmaï sparred with one another in Catherine Corsini’s 2021 comedy-drama, La Fracture, as two people from opposite ends of the
social divide – she middle-class, he a lorry driver – competing for attention
in a busy hospital emergency waiting room. Here they play characters who are
more sensitive to one another, if not always, as the English say, on the same
page. The age difference – Sandra is post-menopausal – deselects them from
being romantically involved. Sandra has a gentleman caller (Eric Verdin) who
services her desire on Thursdays – we see him show himself out. She has family
– a sister who has five boys, whom she calls for help with Elliott in the
film’s early scenes and a mother (Marie-Christine Barrault). She is content
with the parameters of her life.
Sandra is repeatedly
drawn into her neighbour’s life. When she overhears baby Lucille crying
inconsolably in Alex’s apartment, she offers to help and convinces Alex to take
Lucille to the emergency room. She is in a corridor holding Lucille when the
child’s name is called. ‘I’m not her mother,’ she cries, anxiously summoning
Alex (who is with Elliott) to take over. At the funeral reception for Cécile,
Sandra meets David (Raphaël Quenard), Elliott’s biological father. There is the
suggestion that David might take Elliott away, assuming parental
responsibility. Alex is appalled. How could David dare to raise this? Besides,
for many years, Alex has loved Elliott as a father. David asks Sandra who she
is. ‘Just the neighbour,’ she replies. Sandra positions herself by a window,
which allows her to smoke. Her cigarettes signify her chosen separation from
the group, as if nicotine smoke were a form of shield. They also signify a
health problem waiting to happen. Sandra lives for the present. Aside from her
business, she’s not invested in the future.
Tardieu’s radical
approach is never to problematise Sandra. At one point, Alex kisses her on the
lips as the prelude to something more. Sandra gently eases him away. She
understands his loneliness, his desire to move on and to seek consolation from
a woman. He is not expressing desire for Sandra, rather seeking relief from his
loss. Sandra carefully dissuades him from his impulse while not seeking to show
offence. Without expressing it in words, she forgives Alex’s unwanted attention.
Alex isn’t the only
adult is hurt. In an early scene, Cécile’s mother, Fanny (Catherine Mouchet) refers
to the baby as Cécile instead of Lucille, almost as if her daughter were
starting life again. She is swiftly corrected. Alex registers discomfort.
In another early
scene, Alex is taught how to bathe Lucille by a nurse, who is in turn summoned
away by a colleague. The nurse is reluctant to leave Alex. It is only when her
colleague learns his surname that she backs away, acknowledging his loss.
Young Phillip may
ask Sandra some direct questions (‘why don’t you have children?), but he never offends
her. Sandra learns that Alex and Cécile discussed her situation in front of the
child, and bridles slightly; no one likes to be the subject of gossip or be
told about it after the fact. Sandra remains practical.
Alex’s situation
changes when he meets a paediatrician, Emillia (Vimala Pons) in her office,
wondering why her files aren’t computerised and being hit on the head by one of
them in an attempt to reach for it on Emillia’s behalf. At night, he presents
himself at her doorstep with food, by way of apology. He lists each item,
ensuring that she has a choice. She invites him inside. They begin a
relationship.
Naturally this
involves Emillia meeting the children. Phillip involves Alex in a game playing
doctors. He rushes to Sandra’s door to invite her to join in. This is the first
time Emillia and Sandra meet. Emillia looks at the older woman and wonders what
she is to the family, nothing Phillip’s pleasure in Sandra’s company. Sandra
tries to extricate herself from the awkward encounter.
In another early
scene, Phillip knocks on Sandra’s door. Sandra lets him in, not knowing that
Alex is looking for him. It is only later that Alex turns up. ‘I didn’t know he
was lost,’ Sandra apologises.
In one episode that foregrounds
the outsider perspective, Alex attends a dinner hosted by Sandra for her sister
and mother. Sandra invites him so that he does not feel alone; the children are
being looked after. Alex watches the family interact. The issue of his presence
is raised. At that point, he too is ‘just the neighbour’.
Time passes, and
with it more tension and heartbreak. Alex, who felt guilty about insisting that
Cécile continue with her pregnancy, discovers he will become a father a second
time, this time with Emillia. Phillip moves in with David. Sandra contemplates
moving; there is a problem with a pipe that runs through her apartment. There
is a wedding followed by a delayed honeymoon to Iceland, during which Alex and
Emillia, unencumbered by children, address their respective priorities. ‘Why
did you want to come to Iceland with me?’ asks Emillia. ‘Because you asked me
to,’ replies Alex. It is not the right answer.
Pictured: Widower Alex (Pio Marmaï, left) and paediatrician, Emillia (Vimala Pons, right) in a scene from director Carine Tardieu's film, 'L'Attachement', adapted from Alice Ferney's 2020 novel, 'L’Intimité'. Still courtesy of Diaphana Distribution (France).
During one
conversation with Alex, Sandra explains herself. ‘I’m not a feminist,’ she
declares. ‘There is no such thing as feminism. There are only good people and
scum.’ People are defined by their gender rather by their empathy.
One of the most casually
nerve-wracking scenes occurs near the end when, just before the Iceland trip,
Sandra meets Alex, Emillia and the children while they are out shopping.
Phillip explains that he wants a squidgy spider and a ‘talkie walkie’ for
Christmas. This is by way of putting Sandra on notice. She walks away, very
much surplus to requirements. Then Phillip breaks away from his step parents to
run to Sandra – we fear he might be hit by traffic. He adds that the ‘talkie
walkie’ should be ‘Paw Patrol’. ‘Of course’, says Sandra kneeling down to catch
the racing child. ‘It is very important to be specific.’ The acknowledgement
that each misses the other is underplayed.
The final scene
posits a very different family unit than the one we expect. Adults and children
take a picnic. Sandra joins them. By this point, we have shared enough of the
characters’ trauma and social awkwardness. We enjoy the comfort the characters
continue to take in each other and the added pleasure of watching Lucille grow
up (from ‘1 Jour’ to ‘2 Ans’ as captions tells us) before our eyes.
Reviewed at Screen Two, Ciné Lumiere, South Kensington, Central London, Wednesday 8 July 2026, 18:20 screening
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